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Ungainly though his pendulous flaps rendered him, Andre’s rambunctious nature, and winning smile ultimately were not enough to redeem him in the eyes of Nancy, who, with one mighty shove (into the seething rage of the hornets nest) sealed his fate.

“Of course, you could do that,” Frank interjected swiftly, “But I think it would be more appropriate for me to tell your mistress your evil plan, which of course I have had figured out since the moment I met you, Jeeves, if that is indeed your real name ...” Frank paused for a moment before continui...

So I said "Time is a strange mistress ... she never puts out.", and he said to me "Until now, I respected you." Then we laughed!

Yeah! That's how he lost his right upper limb and left lower limb ... I guess that is the high price of complete stupidity.

I do recall that incident. When he eventually located the correct tree he picked up a long, brown, skinny piece that had fallen from it to try and bat her out of it. The problem was that where he had laid his hand there were splinters and faeces ... he should have picked it up at the other end ...

As the mist slowly faded from in front of his face, Tad became increasingly aware of a deep-seated feeling of foreboding rising in his very soul. Tad always was a fucking pussy.

Actually I think I know that guy - was it Bob Blood? I saw him involved in a loud quarrel on Wednesday afternoon. Unfortunately for Bob I had to side with the other guy, Tim Water, whose arguments were persuasive and well reasoned. But, as everyone around here already knows, Blood is thicker than Wa...

I'm shocked! In the house that you live in (the one composed entirely of a silica/oxygen compound) I can't believe that you'd be chucking pieces of igneous deposits! I've told you not to, who knows what the consequences could be!

If it is the small shrub that I am thinking of, there is not alot of ground next to it to be waving sticks around in - you see, it is between a chunk of solidified lava and an area which is really quite firm ...

Well if I were you (and thankfully, I'm not) I would try and pick them all up with your bare mitts - apparently they are more valuable in that situation than in, say, a small shrub.

To be honest I am slightly taken aback, yet relieved! I did check on Snowball this morning, and when I noticed she was not there, I followed her tracks. I eventually found her, lying on her back with her legs in the air. Assuming that she was being incredibly lazy I set about her with a short length...

I also had a rather surprising experience with one of my pets the other day. You remember Snowball? My black mare with four white socks? Well I was taking her for a walk down to the lake, and you know what? There was no way I could cajole her into partaking of the H2o, although I was eventually quit...

You had good reason to put it in there if I recall, wasn't that cat the one who would not let the slumbering canines remain prone?

My neighbour is up on charges of feline murder. I think there is something wrong with the whole family actually - I've never liked the Curiosities.

With astonishing naivety and a dash of foolhardiness, Colin unwrapped the moistened refresher towelette and applied it to a region hitherto unexlored by prepackaged after-grease personal cleansing wipes. He clenched, and then wept.